tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42794871898523532992024-02-19T11:28:44.483-08:00aroughtranslationfoldedintimealexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-89527188052802294922013-04-03T20:32:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:33.895-07:00my limits<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The background of my life, the backdrop I perform before, is discerned piecemeal. Or I might say that it is a drop cloth covered with paint. Or an empty bbq potato chip bag. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlCCiNtJY56djdwZtVKOQN_DVUIaPFj9VBqwhttFYoBo2eqe2mWYtCpqQu4cszdI-tXkcrrBUyESOfMPvLVh6BP9VkCIprqw_ogOkYtnePVcry9McAUPqXOVDQYJ0xz7eypK6_4C1jzGA/s1600/P1050340.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlCCiNtJY56djdwZtVKOQN_DVUIaPFj9VBqwhttFYoBo2eqe2mWYtCpqQu4cszdI-tXkcrrBUyESOfMPvLVh6BP9VkCIprqw_ogOkYtnePVcry9McAUPqXOVDQYJ0xz7eypK6_4C1jzGA/s320/P1050340.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A stave of sheet music, filled in by my random notes and rhythms. </div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv2V37d-qDuLWfaJkOq7gO1ygmUoKMLMwUI-iSPqHMXlMJ9F-AFz7HV4FS6ctFwesr-Qt90FDuwfuOhmqeUVW9A3342s_ymNe_G9iJ3Ho_K6iGRN_oZS4waJlcPPFtXpqB1_rOhYO6ZAs/s1600/P1050476.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv2V37d-qDuLWfaJkOq7gO1ygmUoKMLMwUI-iSPqHMXlMJ9F-AFz7HV4FS6ctFwesr-Qt90FDuwfuOhmqeUVW9A3342s_ymNe_G9iJ3Ho_K6iGRN_oZS4waJlcPPFtXpqB1_rOhYO6ZAs/s320/P1050476.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Paint</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSVsZ0fI_DD2lslze-T8Ve0lFi4El63RcddVDiqFRiSPDsTL5dEyi4WERESjeDrQNvq1d4EHNsjy70TQoxTozS117zJe_4J_hvg7qxeSqb9CWI_HPU-xSNU7ii8vbJ8pTLaQJcuI9G4oI/s1600/P1050989.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSVsZ0fI_DD2lslze-T8Ve0lFi4El63RcddVDiqFRiSPDsTL5dEyi4WERESjeDrQNvq1d4EHNsjy70TQoxTozS117zJe_4J_hvg7qxeSqb9CWI_HPU-xSNU7ii8vbJ8pTLaQJcuI9G4oI/s320/P1050989.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I need more of these white cotton shirts. Other shirts, I'm afraid try to say something.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7ih-gq8oHum_jhtioQEhpfCQkQaFDbrcYM2XJzX4tRSvU9DiSiynukwGMKPZFW9WTcR7HecEX2K92vVrHOplGWF6aLkY3SBy926InEUDjv_ZZ-A0RM5ENBU1jaj4jk4rWpy7sC27MJVU/s1600/P1050992.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7ih-gq8oHum_jhtioQEhpfCQkQaFDbrcYM2XJzX4tRSvU9DiSiynukwGMKPZFW9WTcR7HecEX2K92vVrHOplGWF6aLkY3SBy926InEUDjv_ZZ-A0RM5ENBU1jaj4jk4rWpy7sC27MJVU/s320/P1050992.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Perhaps that is behind Ryman's white paintings - the holding back from saying anything, the reluctance to shed secrets of the soul with speech.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPMSFcm6iy2ft4srSrdtzUEQfXVn9DT3y6yFVxWBVVHov6teEb0yazCmWiDPs6MD4p6aQreCHneC6oGXALzbM4L42z_z8rc_H0b4mQBDGpSIucPrSUzkTSTXWOQ4Cv5i2K8lzeS48JcC8/s1600/levee+wall+break.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPMSFcm6iy2ft4srSrdtzUEQfXVn9DT3y6yFVxWBVVHov6teEb0yazCmWiDPs6MD4p6aQreCHneC6oGXALzbM4L42z_z8rc_H0b4mQBDGpSIucPrSUzkTSTXWOQ4Cv5i2K8lzeS48JcC8/s320/levee+wall+break.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhahKsFuewtJETOMbk39ckI893a-EXF6t1lSTfTtbsXXnBm2U9_8t74jmeTCzb194oxoF2gR76k_Xlf6pnsSTv4eyHiJF2IQrrbHgl9lk0tnDvYSgOBDMB9fqU_XD-6BJw_ZhXLq6_Soss/s1600/local+detail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhahKsFuewtJETOMbk39ckI893a-EXF6t1lSTfTtbsXXnBm2U9_8t74jmeTCzb194oxoF2gR76k_Xlf6pnsSTv4eyHiJF2IQrrbHgl9lk0tnDvYSgOBDMB9fqU_XD-6BJw_ZhXLq6_Soss/s320/local+detail.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvYuI_CRBmPYSFBqtzQ14j5QA-g3j6MHf9lv7MzZNRxGRE8gBLzyNbT8v8iqtOMIEY9WqdpPdjZ49yKyvVIQmvOXgQvEj29tQEzbbB9N8DRN0SHH7JWOHvs2Uu8p9BGY4rEWT6uPeeDdE/s1600/mary+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvYuI_CRBmPYSFBqtzQ14j5QA-g3j6MHf9lv7MzZNRxGRE8gBLzyNbT8v8iqtOMIEY9WqdpPdjZ49yKyvVIQmvOXgQvEj29tQEzbbB9N8DRN0SHH7JWOHvs2Uu8p9BGY4rEWT6uPeeDdE/s320/mary+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbvkp4XF3M3IVRZ-Yi3luhtOHeD0YsPgsanDPQY6BIwrzeDM2EM63hHE6F4NnqyCzytznGua93r8Awu9dOHLGWpx4cyHvM5yLGemBzMh2HKC_8bVBvuPWHvLQLpYWc3o3i8n69_igJPRY/s1600/mr+go.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbvkp4XF3M3IVRZ-Yi3luhtOHeD0YsPgsanDPQY6BIwrzeDM2EM63hHE6F4NnqyCzytznGua93r8Awu9dOHLGWpx4cyHvM5yLGemBzMh2HKC_8bVBvuPWHvLQLpYWc3o3i8n69_igJPRY/s320/mr+go.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Hearing about the Mississippi Gulf Outlet (Mr Go) I imagined a fellow, a dapper nere do well. Because when the locals talk about it, they say Mr Go this and that - I didn't realize they were talking about a thing and not a person.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh_4rIpyUWqNQsCqThSz8yQaxLqSXAKZb01fx-8r_XfeeVTQBkZGIc37f2VDUxm0sy4IhiTHvcpAIVD4eY4tJkRZSl4nkmkqzFHhYVEIZAWF_KZca6ENJhlXPsaj2HNrSdpLrxVvG2-NQ/s1600/pots+and+pans.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh_4rIpyUWqNQsCqThSz8yQaxLqSXAKZb01fx-8r_XfeeVTQBkZGIc37f2VDUxm0sy4IhiTHvcpAIVD4eY4tJkRZSl4nkmkqzFHhYVEIZAWF_KZca6ENJhlXPsaj2HNrSdpLrxVvG2-NQ/s320/pots+and+pans.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Pots and pans in Mama's kitchen seen from the street.</div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-60549242493135710732013-04-03T20:29:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:33.901-07:00whiskers and motion<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghb06mo5-9Alf6aQCwADqrfAYT70XGw1tGjPTRRndjR4oJlFZLWjpewkF5whdJhGOeCsaKFuX8HJx5raLkirDylE9BBpT2D4jgcuJrWst_EdTHyxY-2dfOkAMKoqwtFqab11twjE1Hl5o/s1600/P1230887.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghb06mo5-9Alf6aQCwADqrfAYT70XGw1tGjPTRRndjR4oJlFZLWjpewkF5whdJhGOeCsaKFuX8HJx5raLkirDylE9BBpT2D4jgcuJrWst_EdTHyxY-2dfOkAMKoqwtFqab11twjE1Hl5o/s320/P1230887.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs6uFIDMN4Gn548P0UtLjLr-dDgGd-LlO8zGWwwg2k3nUbU-_j0NIpf6xcAaAHskGxn8ghBPK_Myzodie9lxFStihJYejI6CYvRAIqVGgcyVx6t-b_jU2oisJWPz8f5gZh5UU4Bn2N0iw/s1600/P1230889.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs6uFIDMN4Gn548P0UtLjLr-dDgGd-LlO8zGWwwg2k3nUbU-_j0NIpf6xcAaAHskGxn8ghBPK_Myzodie9lxFStihJYejI6CYvRAIqVGgcyVx6t-b_jU2oisJWPz8f5gZh5UU4Bn2N0iw/s320/P1230889.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8uzu9Iqkfip4BTtLD7ftG2nfZUAM7BY9MJx0FP1-ayVvp4ea-dH62JiNQEz53mWFtjNq4B3dnSOk4Af9sO-KPUIChalxu-RocQm63nEulRjjP78jaj2W8I-4-8OmsthNN4nAkpceFKuI/s1600/P1230888.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8uzu9Iqkfip4BTtLD7ftG2nfZUAM7BY9MJx0FP1-ayVvp4ea-dH62JiNQEz53mWFtjNq4B3dnSOk4Af9sO-KPUIChalxu-RocQm63nEulRjjP78jaj2W8I-4-8OmsthNN4nAkpceFKuI/s320/P1230888.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6wxy3YMMqwpqoe32jSYNB_VxyWfhfcWb3ZfvfiHsK-IsO_tyvdS0_iuKBhOFDkU2t9SoBOc8lsVM7Cr7kn5x111B3umlh3rMYPNlwJ4Vza3ucJvTBsrQBdqxfsycEu4itNjejS1hLx8o/s1600/P1230890.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6wxy3YMMqwpqoe32jSYNB_VxyWfhfcWb3ZfvfiHsK-IsO_tyvdS0_iuKBhOFDkU2t9SoBOc8lsVM7Cr7kn5x111B3umlh3rMYPNlwJ4Vza3ucJvTBsrQBdqxfsycEu4itNjejS1hLx8o/s320/P1230890.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJRHFP0kDe3aS7I2mqmLluusLUVLXFWW20eWGdPoeMLsbmDyuVTYx_uBXNq3iH834omhZHrjS37bSqcleCJ5mRWNVsSlGRIdELB2sPsNgNUsll0XxPcj3kRaK0ufGNAV5O8p2MjwhvJEE/s1600/P1230891.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJRHFP0kDe3aS7I2mqmLluusLUVLXFWW20eWGdPoeMLsbmDyuVTYx_uBXNq3iH834omhZHrjS37bSqcleCJ5mRWNVsSlGRIdELB2sPsNgNUsll0XxPcj3kRaK0ufGNAV5O8p2MjwhvJEE/s320/P1230891.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUiIKZ8IQHnTtud1FRSrY_jlkrSXe7tItmc_TpdaLSMZhqSauCmkjWeGBSZ-AWGCYXOUz7CtQz7uoRx-ksmwh9qN_wB1WIQM9xooCw0hj3ZnPrkOvWPgekhT6SyLwXsOBIBQq2k9DoPFo/s1600/P1230892.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUiIKZ8IQHnTtud1FRSrY_jlkrSXe7tItmc_TpdaLSMZhqSauCmkjWeGBSZ-AWGCYXOUz7CtQz7uoRx-ksmwh9qN_wB1WIQM9xooCw0hj3ZnPrkOvWPgekhT6SyLwXsOBIBQq2k9DoPFo/s320/P1230892.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-31484665091116309442013-04-02T20:31:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:33.907-07:00Stoics<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I can't remember how the story of Aristotle and Phyllis worked. Suffice that she rode him like a pony. This seems like one of those ancient warnings against the passions: they make us do inordinate things. That's the Stoics for you. Many of the rules in the Haustafeln in the later epistles are pretty boiler plate for the ancient world. Judaism and Christianity didn't show up as voices of moral suasion in a decadent and frenzied world. Though, to read the contemporary documents, you might get that impression. Much like today, when some group talks about what bad Americans their opposite group is. Usually though, the group is not strictly "opposite" - more like slightly different. Democrats and Republicans, for most of the 20th century, have not been in opposition. Lately some far right people have tried to create an opposition - but they've created not so much an opposite of social democracy as an antithesis to a leftist straw man - a straw man that doesn't exist in our country. We have the bizarre situation where any hint of sharing, or cooperation for another, is declaimed as socialism. We may be at a point where things will break down. If we reach it, it will be the doing of people whose raison d'etre has been the preserving of what amounts to "our precious bodily fluids." Change happens and forces that resist change are inevitably defeated. These forces are worn out; their resources are spent in resisting what's coming and what will inevitably come. Their energy is spent because what fuels them is fear and anger. Love provides energy - the forces of love will triumph. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6P4ygs2nGCzGw1e6urzaERMrCap7wu1AKT6YffaF-0uuT71-iwIlHLWzFstSYg5U85cMI-FydHLU9gcVIIXJz2KwXtvFPCpxMBtXNnExN4KCgBeFKjN6WvWXIlTgE3XQIv2Loq4OJOsg/s1600/aristotle+and+phyllis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6P4ygs2nGCzGw1e6urzaERMrCap7wu1AKT6YffaF-0uuT71-iwIlHLWzFstSYg5U85cMI-FydHLU9gcVIIXJz2KwXtvFPCpxMBtXNnExN4KCgBeFKjN6WvWXIlTgE3XQIv2Loq4OJOsg/s320/aristotle+and+phyllis.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Not only scripture says this, but Lacan and Freud and Jung and Deleuze - a diverse array of thinkers who are secular in their outlook. Just as today, I am a minister in a church; I drink, I dance, I paint "scandalous paintings" and nothing is going to happen to me. No session is going to deny me communion; no Pope is going to excommunicate me. In the 19th Century this would all have been pro forma - now, nada. Not just for me, but for a great number of people. Even when I was a faithful NR reading, Reagan voting conservative, it was apparent that the moral rigorous section of the right was losing. People who freak out about dancing die out. The people on the right panting over this or that "outrage!" that's sure to end Western Civilization are dead already. We're going to be fine. No one's going to Hell. Hell doesn't even exist. Anyone who thinks they know who's going to Hell, they've already stepped out of the orthodox position. Who's exactly in Hell? Only God can say - and who has he specifically indicated? No one. Origen was brought to the point of saying that even the devil isn't in Hell. He upset some people and they lashed out at him - in the manner of people with authority but without the more compelling argument. It may take some time, but in 20 years people will pay their taxes; healthcare will be universal; the safety net will be intact; and capitalism will be functioning as a system aiding the flow of value (rather than a signifier under which value is hoarded and denied). Things that seem fought over with difficulty now, will seem like the very conservative backbone of society. Gay people will marry and the Church will be fine, society will be fine. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A new breed of nitwit will rise and they'll seek out a new scapegoat. Who knows who. The history of the US consists of some triumphs as well as embarrassments. Know Nothings going crazy over Irish immigrants and free masonary occur over and over - different labels but the same content. Fortunately we also breed visionaries and advocates - people who recognize change as an opportunity rather than a mantra of fear. These people free slaves, secure rights for women, and see to the prosperity of the whole rather than a clever few. I believe in these people. They always herald a change that at first seems unnecessary, even perverse (as the early fear mongers aver), but in the end is victorious. This change is victorious and good, as it is recognized in an increase of liberty, an increase of rights, an increase of people who share in the common good. </div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-85805940845026810972013-04-02T18:29:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:33.912-07:00exotic new orleans<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">almost two years ago we traveled to new orleans to help with a habitat style house - the same purpose, but not the same organization</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW-DgE4QQKiLlGhHPnj5XyT2D29PMqIVCrV4buwzAGca6jeVz_x1J1G_0GrD1vgIQriQ53x77nvR0orWFw4FctULejqH1rL7khvsryDT1R8JoM5UdrdYIDdADb39iXc_a5x9ivR31uocU/s1600/P1050154.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; 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text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidP99naSO3La82m0LnxFG3pGW3cxRyqc_NVgQFHeAAwJSf8B4tszpm2meWRbtdZXfaL0nvacWw2q-tgDgioq3-YT6BfHixVmri6gP_8bvr4DkeZE6WdVMD7TAPAhzMNBMU3GY9z1L3_vk/s1600/P1050168.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidP99naSO3La82m0LnxFG3pGW3cxRyqc_NVgQFHeAAwJSf8B4tszpm2meWRbtdZXfaL0nvacWw2q-tgDgioq3-YT6BfHixVmri6gP_8bvr4DkeZE6WdVMD7TAPAhzMNBMU3GY9z1L3_vk/s320/P1050168.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRFOH2GXTFMeqTNH3GmyPspuVvfqBE-qRYqVh8D7jGCswOc2Fa-6D03QkMolyv0-mxSo6T4PXCBBUnUA5ltG8m0T5p4uLLhWZVvet8zS6Im9gqNJLowGJTUkCSEAQBZsvdMXPElxWu2ak/s1600/P1050166.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRFOH2GXTFMeqTNH3GmyPspuVvfqBE-qRYqVh8D7jGCswOc2Fa-6D03QkMolyv0-mxSo6T4PXCBBUnUA5ltG8m0T5p4uLLhWZVvet8zS6Im9gqNJLowGJTUkCSEAQBZsvdMXPElxWu2ak/s320/P1050166.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-53633799456186202432013-04-02T14:08:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:33.918-07:00listening to the fairy queen<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I've enjoyed listening to a version of the Fairy Queen available on youtube - since this summer. I needed Purcell's music this summer as a respite to the talk radio our workers enjoyed. I needed calm and stateliness and delight. This production was performed at Citi de la Musique in Paris - so there are costumes and renaissance instruments - note a very large lute and those valveless trumpets. I was reminded that this was incidental music to a masque - a tableau to be played out as well as sung. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKEIwhAJzhtm6ybfbydHerZ1tBq1ax3Jv0o_K8bRsHSBVCXo7olNHSUsQehkSCyQBEA6I2iwutbqGZ_TN5T-cVHEAhyphenhyphen0uwq-blZm1bFfz2gFNm8oXfDdipXRcaM6ksOcwG7zdj0O_ozbs/s1600/02+crowd1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKEIwhAJzhtm6ybfbydHerZ1tBq1ax3Jv0o_K8bRsHSBVCXo7olNHSUsQehkSCyQBEA6I2iwutbqGZ_TN5T-cVHEAhyphenhyphen0uwq-blZm1bFfz2gFNm8oXfDdipXRcaM6ksOcwG7zdj0O_ozbs/s320/02+crowd1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A beach presents a tableau as well. It is a performance. We don't often think of ourselves as performing. We consider that we exist, but to what end? We don't want an answer, or we settle for an answer that isn't worthy of the question. This is what Sabbath is for - to help us with that answer: if we abstain from busyness long enough, we have the opportunity to discern what is our soul's concern. Christ asks, What will we give in exchange for our soul? And we answer each day - Oh for a mess of porridge. That is, we act as if there were no question - where is the crowd going? And we take bearings for or against them.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjma1015v67rRcC6lCMfiNMVbTWXRLJcxQSCX5FVWufdpOmNEeAr0EvDFX0IfCD12BLcoxisP9mMxvKjtYUs8oKfSN-o8ohRkYoRphpq4yfIrtnHOB50h_hIEyx-Qs72vx2bBkgFJnIqr0/s1600/02+crowd3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjma1015v67rRcC6lCMfiNMVbTWXRLJcxQSCX5FVWufdpOmNEeAr0EvDFX0IfCD12BLcoxisP9mMxvKjtYUs8oKfSN-o8ohRkYoRphpq4yfIrtnHOB50h_hIEyx-Qs72vx2bBkgFJnIqr0/s320/02+crowd3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">We are trained to believe advertising. We have no choice but to believe those who are older than us when we are born. As we grow older we may begin to believe teachers, but still we don't know what it is that we believe. Finally one day we may say that we cut ties with all and believe only ourselves - and at this critical moment lose all necessary skepticism. We are the most necessary person to believe - and yet, we are the most likely to lie to ourselves. Nietzsche was getting at this.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOkwYyvxVfhHOh8hluIo6lE9oSN0eEwR09_1_Rt1fQBqoANSa09O6GTySzEPPvr6lW7WvDEOgYYYrXS6sOgFdXUKCctg3D7YtV-PzdUDAFouD5h04I-XEpXiKNqXwmZ3ZaE_XoM0xBIdU/s1600/02+figure1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOkwYyvxVfhHOh8hluIo6lE9oSN0eEwR09_1_Rt1fQBqoANSa09O6GTySzEPPvr6lW7WvDEOgYYYrXS6sOgFdXUKCctg3D7YtV-PzdUDAFouD5h04I-XEpXiKNqXwmZ3ZaE_XoM0xBIdU/s320/02+figure1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">People say they no longer believe in God - no longer believe in "fairy tales" as it were, but they don't examine how still in thrall they are. They have simply buried the source of thralldom deeper within themselves. For "fairy tales" (and how such an appellation betrays the shallowness of their thinking) they exchange the fantasy of their lives (which they are incapable of traversing themselves). To simply exchange one signifier for another is nothing. We each have an ultimate ground of being. It is the way we are built. The way we become.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyrpIM4O3HQrHOJXlo7LhW1JLWaSOydLMPxypxmMQLMgFSOj5-QIYOdT__06H0XazP6jH_C8vbaLaSboCWt0mMQh95uvXT6L_aSoPzCSGdeWx8RZTCjlYLfpLth1bvRB1UG_iyE4PVMOI/s1600/02+figure3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyrpIM4O3HQrHOJXlo7LhW1JLWaSOydLMPxypxmMQLMgFSOj5-QIYOdT__06H0XazP6jH_C8vbaLaSboCWt0mMQh95uvXT6L_aSoPzCSGdeWx8RZTCjlYLfpLth1bvRB1UG_iyE4PVMOI/s320/02+figure3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Today, someone I admire said that I am a remarkable man. Which threw me a bit. I thanked him. It's kind to hear such a thing, as I feel lost in sameness most of the time. Too stuck in what I've not done, what did not work out, where I've had to back away from. And it's too easy to be angry. Or there's too much anger in me. Anger usually directed at myself, in the passive way we have, that it takes others to point out to us. But I am encouraged. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj650gXscEVsHrPzJJ3BDAckbWIM_fA-uEMgP2-VDVOaJMLEHcj0OXj6R9S1-weoAH6ZBEL-6rlScbqWVhG77cjSHXpWPuDpE3fdoAXhhXeN1srIeQ7FcjXUbQuTfIRttTYNkPoLkfpfbk/s1600/02+crowd4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj650gXscEVsHrPzJJ3BDAckbWIM_fA-uEMgP2-VDVOaJMLEHcj0OXj6R9S1-weoAH6ZBEL-6rlScbqWVhG77cjSHXpWPuDpE3fdoAXhhXeN1srIeQ7FcjXUbQuTfIRttTYNkPoLkfpfbk/s320/02+crowd4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A key question in the Artist's Way is What Next? I stall in life and don't ask this. Unlike when I'm painting or drawing - which are so vital for me. When I'm pushing paint around or making lines, I'm always thinking of the next move. There is no time for being critical, for editing. And maybe that's the way life is meant to be lived. On TV and in the papers, lives are always being analysed for flaws. As if people should have known instantly to do or not do something. The punishing super ego seems like the voice of our media today. At some point people have to shut it down. There is no analysis, no search for who to blame, who to take the fall, to punish: there is only what next? What next if we approached people's lives like this? One mistake, one gaffe, and it's curtains for good men and women.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkhJ8qE2UXk9RAfOlbZ0F0a-kuc9IgSQoA1D7zziGM7vNx2PqTWMuzrOVjvn91EBmGGgPP8nbtE2kmLDRyHz3OL5fJDtYLtJ4-fdoKR8LWyUusMMm1-AP4ZTNJg35yhIMMr2O7N3xlY44/s1600/02+fragmentx.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkhJ8qE2UXk9RAfOlbZ0F0a-kuc9IgSQoA1D7zziGM7vNx2PqTWMuzrOVjvn91EBmGGgPP8nbtE2kmLDRyHz3OL5fJDtYLtJ4-fdoKR8LWyUusMMm1-AP4ZTNJg35yhIMMr2O7N3xlY44/s320/02+fragmentx.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I've no more words.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh05JdBxxXSXfrQEaBVLcer5tRJqIRkavenuqrz5NYRa-2Z3X8DoDgCotnWRbuCAf6KEg58BS4RYzJ7VlL1-FtzolBYZ8ImG9uxSjn9lAMPloCurzV49JHI9KFpH7xGjdN8yJLdxwak6Mk/s1600/02+fragmenty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh05JdBxxXSXfrQEaBVLcer5tRJqIRkavenuqrz5NYRa-2Z3X8DoDgCotnWRbuCAf6KEg58BS4RYzJ7VlL1-FtzolBYZ8ImG9uxSjn9lAMPloCurzV49JHI9KFpH7xGjdN8yJLdxwak6Mk/s320/02+fragmenty.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I have to find a way forward. Keep trying things and something will click. As Jami tells me, I have to talk with several crucial people. As my therapist tells me, I have to try things even when I'm not 100 percent certain of them. It's better to go in cold than to spend time in speculation.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiISZav8tcSTullt0rq-5JpUVYjO5f1XA0OKStMwaIRuRfDqAitHWdattQ4EPi6W3qGOMqhFrbMh3jVPeTGLOrgcFf20-bVCjQNSS3IYgZOCMF3hyphenhyphenmIkP4tBSWtY4twHON35ki2X06PsA8/s1600/02+fragment9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiISZav8tcSTullt0rq-5JpUVYjO5f1XA0OKStMwaIRuRfDqAitHWdattQ4EPi6W3qGOMqhFrbMh3jVPeTGLOrgcFf20-bVCjQNSS3IYgZOCMF3hyphenhyphenmIkP4tBSWtY4twHON35ki2X06PsA8/s320/02+fragment9.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">What next?</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiylWnEu8VEqe70fwUcwWp1BsWEYRAfF18ySStxzv2Sejhs3cqh-6hkQo31JquOpXh0AR7dZ2cvz2Euq05wq1WiX-3tTkJMl3ocuWIStYs346n7hvjpEEq2COzxvi5aNXLfY5sU7aK8QEA/s1600/02+fragmentyy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiylWnEu8VEqe70fwUcwWp1BsWEYRAfF18ySStxzv2Sejhs3cqh-6hkQo31JquOpXh0AR7dZ2cvz2Euq05wq1WiX-3tTkJMl3ocuWIStYs346n7hvjpEEq2COzxvi5aNXLfY5sU7aK8QEA/s320/02+fragmentyy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Who is interested in art and theology and sees what I might do in them? How I bring them together. </div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXYTyYTGoRVM_dFgKxCMmHQ0gd-dYu3KZWisNVFwjZdiiz40RP6_0JJAxV972ekkILVtIM9rPAe49glUV2HWxijG0B6GvHGq98kzKlkojzltmfSpsGOzrP4Q6EvXJKUQtE22OjTt4_v_M/s1600/02+gaby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXYTyYTGoRVM_dFgKxCMmHQ0gd-dYu3KZWisNVFwjZdiiz40RP6_0JJAxV972ekkILVtIM9rPAe49glUV2HWxijG0B6GvHGq98kzKlkojzltmfSpsGOzrP4Q6EvXJKUQtE22OjTt4_v_M/s320/02+gaby.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The gator in orant, lifts his song to the sky.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhyGYBVOXsMBdvJlsrZCRdr4S6Z7bgA3B5d1Bdf3bjqTR4kzrI8rMBazmsHbyBhRlMNnlHsXU62pJ4qE0EXXb2_MIZforNDgz16TtOFmPzLSyqManGmaV_c29dmgS1ltOA_HdbWzBw9_o/s1600/02+gator+toy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhyGYBVOXsMBdvJlsrZCRdr4S6Z7bgA3B5d1Bdf3bjqTR4kzrI8rMBazmsHbyBhRlMNnlHsXU62pJ4qE0EXXb2_MIZforNDgz16TtOFmPzLSyqManGmaV_c29dmgS1ltOA_HdbWzBw9_o/s320/02+gator+toy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">What next?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeJgDKAIPWgT1-rLOqGc5BYHJB81c6VdvrS4r7GlpMqHINrpKJMmVnY3zTNRa494vPxK5sYB5FO71zvJXE5_q7VkwdKuPxkSiJlYeRhBLaZ_oG4nZos42SiibMpqHCiCbe51Q4cRHf3VM/s1600/02+grace4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeJgDKAIPWgT1-rLOqGc5BYHJB81c6VdvrS4r7GlpMqHINrpKJMmVnY3zTNRa494vPxK5sYB5FO71zvJXE5_q7VkwdKuPxkSiJlYeRhBLaZ_oG4nZos42SiibMpqHCiCbe51Q4cRHf3VM/s320/02+grace4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">What next?</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgno4k3H0Q4oQsyJRLeekn-RwCNIBMnKdUQ47XTDEkdmPs0VvZtCEb18O-Dh9q3e5NUEGLwBF_EcCklHyT0vkr9MAzMn_OIcn0HbBYwnpjKxTRw6B2Y7WXL2-_HoJJJ-6x4bQX5nR3ZuHQ/s1600/02+grace3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgno4k3H0Q4oQsyJRLeekn-RwCNIBMnKdUQ47XTDEkdmPs0VvZtCEb18O-Dh9q3e5NUEGLwBF_EcCklHyT0vkr9MAzMn_OIcn0HbBYwnpjKxTRw6B2Y7WXL2-_HoJJJ-6x4bQX5nR3ZuHQ/s320/02+grace3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-14270084354008373682013-04-01T17:49:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:33.925-07:00we know nothing about olive oil<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">That's what the person interviewed on Fresh Air just said in a book called Gulp which details the intricacies of our bodies, Mary Roche?. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDdJ8spFFaWrCiZVkJQ1Uk8HFab-p1k8tjtXEi0Y6i3PFKhRvC5Vu5M64zf3P2C-lXbUX0DBrpXBgPQwjssMsiv-9dLemnCxuF7M22VQfWpGZwN1I9c-w1nT6l_QqMDHTTvIeYPHLRBeY/s1600/P1140134.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDdJ8spFFaWrCiZVkJQ1Uk8HFab-p1k8tjtXEi0Y6i3PFKhRvC5Vu5M64zf3P2C-lXbUX0DBrpXBgPQwjssMsiv-9dLemnCxuF7M22VQfWpGZwN1I9c-w1nT6l_QqMDHTTvIeYPHLRBeY/s320/P1140134.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Tomorrow I have an important conversation. I'm speaking with someone to discern some way that my twin vocations of art and ministry might combine, help people, and provide a living. </div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8qwmX6HREMigxDZUSovRKwdJX8EZvFoUdUXnyI8hc5OvmXzoDA1pZOuSlPna4JGTWZt3ZHas28Bp40a4GDevM2G9kT3h9cglD5fweZb5hghX_FFIPcnKKQgKSltoZ17JBbcPIEMcpnug/s1600/P1140150.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8qwmX6HREMigxDZUSovRKwdJX8EZvFoUdUXnyI8hc5OvmXzoDA1pZOuSlPna4JGTWZt3ZHas28Bp40a4GDevM2G9kT3h9cglD5fweZb5hghX_FFIPcnKKQgKSltoZ17JBbcPIEMcpnug/s320/P1140150.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I wrote on a friend's status, that my feelings about the Braves, formed at the height of the awful 1970s, but with Aaron and Niekro being excellent, are bone deep. I told Jami that I don't know statistics like some people know today. I always have to look up WAR and era+ and why k/bb ratios are important. But I love the game. I loved playing it, even though I wasn't any good and quit in middle school. It is a beautiful game to me. </div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKJ9XcsEZAi2i9SqQ-ECDRD0IjGzC_w_lxbeILNeNuv4-Y9_q2ECfL83nYcOff45UxzVAmEsO47ZmhQAomgtQuzANh6dH7OnijG2EYOYdz8PcfMjyo7YUqlLEs9iX2W6CBijeSS9Z_v9Q/s1600/P1140146.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKJ9XcsEZAi2i9SqQ-ECDRD0IjGzC_w_lxbeILNeNuv4-Y9_q2ECfL83nYcOff45UxzVAmEsO47ZmhQAomgtQuzANh6dH7OnijG2EYOYdz8PcfMjyo7YUqlLEs9iX2W6CBijeSS9Z_v9Q/s320/P1140146.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This season, with the Uptons and Heyward in the outfield, and Tehran and Minor and Medlen coming into form behind Hudson and Maholm, excites me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-EGT4xchYDinjrtcM0Mm5rgM-_HfiI0-cmDfr1-ASOENjxODLWS-Ay5-IJMZYn_5bbYuQ2UI7AoiaOz9qL5v06gzaf35Ov9-bk0VnkgzOIQYqVed5hMYwU8l61QiZIr3TFiwlnf9ONsQ/s1600/P1140170.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-EGT4xchYDinjrtcM0Mm5rgM-_HfiI0-cmDfr1-ASOENjxODLWS-Ay5-IJMZYn_5bbYuQ2UI7AoiaOz9qL5v06gzaf35Ov9-bk0VnkgzOIQYqVed5hMYwU8l61QiZIr3TFiwlnf9ONsQ/s320/P1140170.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">My faith feels invigorated. Lately I read more Rumi and Whitman. I read Deleuze and Blanchot and Lacan and Zizek. And for all that, I get something out of Galatians. I get something out of the OT and the Parables. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs4roHYjEHe3Bq28G5nptusN3czzk0jDKsQ-8ROEd7bJzNgwQRXE5YZXnvx3OJEzv6ietZDFJvo2M0oNcx5heGd8vShazjwEwbOaTg2IR1-OmsZQMylyxqi7j-TGI8usRKC-5xW5I7Zvk/s1600/P1140172.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs4roHYjEHe3Bq28G5nptusN3czzk0jDKsQ-8ROEd7bJzNgwQRXE5YZXnvx3OJEzv6ietZDFJvo2M0oNcx5heGd8vShazjwEwbOaTg2IR1-OmsZQMylyxqi7j-TGI8usRKC-5xW5I7Zvk/s320/P1140172.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I feel good about this year. </div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCNrVPFCxJljQJ_NdEa8O5QCxvg3N_ESRySIwjEYthNXo0gcaTjIwy_-p2cUtV66MJI-h3ukAPU7dwLc0yE-MVrG-hEWF_dphnAx8-q0PoZ-HhJJo1Mef5ZA9-x28VD0Cd5gvwc49yOyM/s1600/P1140273.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCNrVPFCxJljQJ_NdEa8O5QCxvg3N_ESRySIwjEYthNXo0gcaTjIwy_-p2cUtV66MJI-h3ukAPU7dwLc0yE-MVrG-hEWF_dphnAx8-q0PoZ-HhJJo1Mef5ZA9-x28VD0Cd5gvwc49yOyM/s320/P1140273.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> The past is over and done.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWr1uhfpTpx0jI17vu9Qhhv-Z1HYMvByuELU0KIBACedhZICxMHxRkxh8WGPMwOkxg_3Mm1-rOi4NyJlGvfF1Bbn0o0fiGhwidWQ3UStElWElyssHWVOZbLs1vnGLBJii3R57N9KSPJ5M/s1600/P1140294.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWr1uhfpTpx0jI17vu9Qhhv-Z1HYMvByuELU0KIBACedhZICxMHxRkxh8WGPMwOkxg_3Mm1-rOi4NyJlGvfF1Bbn0o0fiGhwidWQ3UStElWElyssHWVOZbLs1vnGLBJii3R57N9KSPJ5M/s320/P1140294.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">So glad.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHJPvwuxjTsc26mkZp1svr8w0hZ457HeLuEq0T7MUldgFbO7TFkoG4VlH7VsFnTI-_OGujaTJUuPnQd7Ytps-gsGzrznrJ7SBzBfa38WME9BpVTpcuo2L5_aWegzrH1qoMW-44PraFpBs/s1600/P1140300.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHJPvwuxjTsc26mkZp1svr8w0hZ457HeLuEq0T7MUldgFbO7TFkoG4VlH7VsFnTI-_OGujaTJUuPnQd7Ytps-gsGzrznrJ7SBzBfa38WME9BpVTpcuo2L5_aWegzrH1qoMW-44PraFpBs/s320/P1140300.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-6462599934270128112013-04-01T14:43:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:33.932-07:00light<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijdIubYIVfKCs9Xv0rrGG2S75kRtsxrNlRBlFpulxPbHG_0c-dvvZiElrVRD2CpQtvWMIXb-uL-Qi8xgQDEzqpBHPYRyIbDbK52WzKBN3aDtVjnmQcFCrEV_yxUfa1LCZA68s3USfqZ28/s1600/P1140067.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijdIubYIVfKCs9Xv0rrGG2S75kRtsxrNlRBlFpulxPbHG_0c-dvvZiElrVRD2CpQtvWMIXb-uL-Qi8xgQDEzqpBHPYRyIbDbK52WzKBN3aDtVjnmQcFCrEV_yxUfa1LCZA68s3USfqZ28/s320/P1140067.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMKXObTZV7nAScW3VdktxBia0ubY4J-VHxQ6cnTabAP_6r8ARiK3HGC_20QO4om8iBeJVk6noooixFW7QDn9J5ABOx1czabjNoHL03EMyMc72hrdAjkZ5ILcmiaAAcgqg1rpfZ4TbSz-M/s1600/P1140069.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMKXObTZV7nAScW3VdktxBia0ubY4J-VHxQ6cnTabAP_6r8ARiK3HGC_20QO4om8iBeJVk6noooixFW7QDn9J5ABOx1czabjNoHL03EMyMc72hrdAjkZ5ILcmiaAAcgqg1rpfZ4TbSz-M/s320/P1140069.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSDsC5aBCDnzVjjzMuXpVNRSy543V9RwJKmGK0j3JJbt2f9cFxxvxeRptu_u2wcWWCenzEAWmlQap8Jw9N0YqOyW5qdnVmWyEcz0mA_qNApZHsyrhgnAPxGbczuVH2YsbIFtEDmID17yQ/s1600/P1140074.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSDsC5aBCDnzVjjzMuXpVNRSy543V9RwJKmGK0j3JJbt2f9cFxxvxeRptu_u2wcWWCenzEAWmlQap8Jw9N0YqOyW5qdnVmWyEcz0mA_qNApZHsyrhgnAPxGbczuVH2YsbIFtEDmID17yQ/s320/P1140074.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5pxs7LGNFoeMLclX_1uF15uRDJXfa7w7UK5ZtC68fZf23_hVQfiMF_VqpnNVKATn41fsKjoA0lp0QBliCZAMFfOdsiunwpW8wqwk9EmaV_uPIE_i2Vzz6RZnZQQTg8_iEy0cDiXyvfoI/s1600/P1140075.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5pxs7LGNFoeMLclX_1uF15uRDJXfa7w7UK5ZtC68fZf23_hVQfiMF_VqpnNVKATn41fsKjoA0lp0QBliCZAMFfOdsiunwpW8wqwk9EmaV_uPIE_i2Vzz6RZnZQQTg8_iEy0cDiXyvfoI/s320/P1140075.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHfe8Ld8S_bFGZIq99zaEgCM98JtAlCAWAhi_pFIucU96PkxpKUWIf74-IUSIGS7Cfoxpd4Hn0FdumxK189opHBskDZCbFi2Me7iIHstQCZp9-bbNbV3Ico-kPApvIO47CP_mzZddCSCY/s1600/P1140076.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="143" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHfe8Ld8S_bFGZIq99zaEgCM98JtAlCAWAhi_pFIucU96PkxpKUWIf74-IUSIGS7Cfoxpd4Hn0FdumxK189opHBskDZCbFi2Me7iIHstQCZp9-bbNbV3Ico-kPApvIO47CP_mzZddCSCY/s320/P1140076.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaqjAIgFhrAGyBO3cvftNk52I1UWQxZbY_AG1K2HqMrojjaG_J57um_oB3AfbrP_ZUWYYxkP7xLZAimT443bBCHh5JNzuCVPnHOvn0UIiOy_F6_EKkeLvQ5R0fH1T4BQqoclU8tXmhK5w/s1600/P1140085.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaqjAIgFhrAGyBO3cvftNk52I1UWQxZbY_AG1K2HqMrojjaG_J57um_oB3AfbrP_ZUWYYxkP7xLZAimT443bBCHh5JNzuCVPnHOvn0UIiOy_F6_EKkeLvQ5R0fH1T4BQqoclU8tXmhK5w/s320/P1140085.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-4344770937889715802013-04-01T14:33:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:33.937-07:00Hanging on<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I think a lot. One of my earliest memories was of the woman who looked after the neighbor kids, an old (to my 4 year old self) African American woman. She would sit in her chair and close her eyes. I'd ask what's wrong, and she'd say, "I'm just thinking." She was the first example I had that it was alright to just sit in a chair and think. She would also tell me that some days she just had the blues. I'd never thought that blues were something someone could have. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">One might say that this woman, obscure in memory - my parents wouldn't have known her since she worked at the neighbor's, and I never knew her name - has had a great influence on my life. I find myself, even as I type this, thinking, my heart filled with the blues. My blues are not the same as hers, of course. I think that everyone's blues are their own. When people try to understand or belittle -" my god, they're even trying to take my blues away from me", is all I can think. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I treasure this gift of thinking - just closing my eyes and thinking. Later in kindergarten, the teachers cajoled us to put our thinking caps on. But I didn't need to - I was already thinking. And the blues, sure they're a burden and cause a certain quiet and a certain reluctance. I find though that they've given my life a contour, a refrain, that brings a kind of reassurance. I think it's been asked before: Why do the blues make us happy? But the answer is unimportant. As Blanchot wrote, the answer itself is the question's adversity.Questions only need to be asked. It need not be a two part code, a q and a; instead, only Qs - all the way. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Why do we feel compelled to answer questions? Speaking with Job, God asks a series of questions: How deep is the ocean, how high is the sky type questions - questions we actually know the answers to. I've jokingly pictured Job answering much to Yahweh's consternation. We do know the answers to these rhetorical questions now. The crazy thing about Job is that God doesn't answer Job's question. God answers the question God asks. God tells Job's friends that Job was right - but God doesn't answer Job's question of causality: Why did you do this? Why did my children die? Why did I have to suffer the stupid consolation of my friends (and what could be worse than when our friends console us stupidly? Their silence was better)? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Leave the question of the blues. The blues need not justify themselves. And let me think in my chair - as I would let you. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicsYjV67O1z1ngCp3wgyQg9dibbOwMaCrL9WcUfq7H9uXRFG2a9R35yk8EB_jtJEqUp_BWMStSZ94kaOsMTrva0wdqsng_xR5nPpuWenl27PhsTuurQkYKUgLFC5nHXbFkc14W5ECUc1s/s1600/P1130880.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicsYjV67O1z1ngCp3wgyQg9dibbOwMaCrL9WcUfq7H9uXRFG2a9R35yk8EB_jtJEqUp_BWMStSZ94kaOsMTrva0wdqsng_xR5nPpuWenl27PhsTuurQkYKUgLFC5nHXbFkc14W5ECUc1s/s320/P1130880.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidU58X_PuWeNwOGSoYqiO1beH4Xjda7eOiBO2_vOHFWmkMR4cipMp2o5DN-D5fhEz6f4E5FnNEFdUeFv3TuM1orTqKdQFRFs1yBjAC8AVkliURNrt4xoC_OKC1GKKfdRNFEhkFVZTcWcQ/s1600/P1130908.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; 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text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj54WctByNbFLBZjOao7fBfIrLR8CD-7ltTEtSxCRLKZc8Gy_RmyU7C7nixklu0GGNBL6kivutXszK3pnvRpVIsfXFm2Xrh12FLF-FrJXzqIB4xq0_idrpeuqQgOnPo0p0PfduQHbkgByI/s1600/03+grace5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj54WctByNbFLBZjOao7fBfIrLR8CD-7ltTEtSxCRLKZc8Gy_RmyU7C7nixklu0GGNBL6kivutXszK3pnvRpVIsfXFm2Xrh12FLF-FrJXzqIB4xq0_idrpeuqQgOnPo0p0PfduQHbkgByI/s320/03+grace5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP-P18GYAoF7HcZta3Pa0wopZR7L8f8Dd7TkP_jC288zhskkgFB4WpvtWq4zPDuUkzORmC8cQTd3oTE9bljqF_QydB6YmcZ53_4fnOnnyxqlsuPSdAeijJmaCooW1NFw8cABMz8iPR6gc/s1600/03+grace3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; 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margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhItrswzA7ucgP6gqxfxE0ft8AKkAq5fgpemcf3uqeOkyupaF6GoGK0Hp37vpaqCLUCvR-yZIq3RckkgSsWCqbCjfTMnfySf_g6sWYLX8bS5HMz2EvXim9vxIhuUeTCZTeUvr2xWQwuBMI/s320/04+off+frame.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-6359736289147781222013-03-31T17:34:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:33.949-07:00I play one on TV<br />I feel alone - but it's not like I want to be surrounded with people. I carry solitude with me. At times, while walking alone, the odd cultist approaches, assuming a lonely man is an easy mark. I tell them I'm fine. Thanks to Deleuze I understand that my line of flight is between two poles: on the one hand is the hierarchy - think church, corporation, institution; on the other hand is the sect - think churches meeting in basements, garage bands, clubs, clicks, cells. When I was young, I thought the small things, the molecular things, were the antidote to the big things - that churches, institutions, corporations were inherently evil and destructive for the individual. Later, engulfed in the small things, the clubs, the clicks and cults, I was faced with how engulfing and destructive these groups are for the individual (in this case, me).<br /><br />I learned to be alone. In fact, I thrive in it. Making art, drawing incessantly has seen me through a lot. It's probably cost me some relationships - but saved me from others. In the end, I have good relationships. Nothing beats finding people who accept how you are.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigzg1TQ06OIEzstdPpb3prWVjEsJGvYZRy1lO-ts9BpDjUQjqTyOO5mvFFMQt5529yhpZcNxAmFX4uYn7UWtihGjT2ZjgT-i6np4yUXBsDcV0U-uUcxKrZafvqUPfesHcPPbBL7KAEJ2M/s1600/P1160954.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigzg1TQ06OIEzstdPpb3prWVjEsJGvYZRy1lO-ts9BpDjUQjqTyOO5mvFFMQt5529yhpZcNxAmFX4uYn7UWtihGjT2ZjgT-i6np4yUXBsDcV0U-uUcxKrZafvqUPfesHcPPbBL7KAEJ2M/s320/P1160954.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgikp9hPRByZr2WpkFhTUrSethODqKDAN57jCF0jYaGjcwc6gTedM8QTT4rYzxny-FDwhmZSpxngX1OECWFOGmUj29u_VcG7KWlweZ7WnA9ey4tJRw-GK_ENkWXNaKFmF6pRWrur-Se6hk/s1600/P1160958.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; 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margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjivwJBRXQwd5HPwpKi3OwWTI8z7wTCmSDUIYt11amIMNJFO39NFesDJZa8u0ROqyCRFj92A1L8LnO2mWDToWPbZ-xpHDmfl-f6sdzQtJsI37vPk-TuzUn_ZnuCEfuf1YgUbqDxrAdHSQI/s320/P1100518.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-58608792932253338882013-03-31T05:59:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:34.059-07:00insignificance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I am surprised at the confidence people possess in life. The feeling of supremacy they convey: "look at what I've done," they shout, as if they exhibited a unique status. I understand this in a child, but as a person grows older, becomes acquainted with the history of art and literature and science and sports - the presence of each of us becomes dubious</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyYnnXyrF7DMP3u9ZdQIyYcPRcqodsJAkLLWuQB9K6PIu-9sRJSb4ZAYhWj2qsVEd8enPAQzzcIYQpuufuaNehV3DpkkBZ78AkgPCFmxHgdq7rcXwMnEvpJODVvxHnM3pzHcTJaDOKqK0/s1600/11+wave2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyYnnXyrF7DMP3u9ZdQIyYcPRcqodsJAkLLWuQB9K6PIu-9sRJSb4ZAYhWj2qsVEd8enPAQzzcIYQpuufuaNehV3DpkkBZ78AkgPCFmxHgdq7rcXwMnEvpJODVvxHnM3pzHcTJaDOKqK0/s320/11+wave2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmDxvPegDO0Q3mC8dYcsCsdz2L_CXVcw4e0XNd_b75mxQXcJmp3E1_QXSihviMeGv8BfO8x85X3RFy0H2Bsec_DW-1O9YSq_gVtaBb0efDz5sOWC8sw0ezcyRAjcq0JF8B_IhcTxGYyOU/s1600/P1160730.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmDxvPegDO0Q3mC8dYcsCsdz2L_CXVcw4e0XNd_b75mxQXcJmp3E1_QXSihviMeGv8BfO8x85X3RFy0H2Bsec_DW-1O9YSq_gVtaBb0efDz5sOWC8sw0ezcyRAjcq0JF8B_IhcTxGYyOU/s320/P1160730.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-15290400344275289612013-03-31T05:55:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:34.163-07:00volley sequence<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #0000ee;"><u><br /></u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #0000ee;"><u><br /></u></span></div>The South is less Bozart now than when Menken coined that term. Parts of us are even breaking off into the Beaux Art. Menken was a cheap shot artist anyway. There's a whole school of argumentation that gets along on cheap shots: they can be spotted for their dependence on slippery slope arguments and ad hominem; and they are rooted in fear - their own and the fear of the audience they hope to capture. I've tended to link them to a type of conservatism, but I must make this distinction: between conservatism that conserves and conservatism that resists change. Change, as Jung observed, is always coming, and the resistance against change is accomplished at great loss of energy. Jung observed of these conservatives that they barricade themselves behind barriers where they are certain to only meet people like themselves. But the psychic energy of change is far greater then the energy human beings can muster. One day gaps appear in the barricades.<br /><br /><div></div>alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-60433835569469220002013-03-30T14:13:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:34.477-07:00etude on comedic technique<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy2JSjjj5Im9dqLz6gc96sc8q-7Fy-LeF73lgMR-A9k_gA3g40NsYf0s5PL7kumoO1AWr0pUUL-TfdcZmulgki4mNPt8NLfsNhcTW_8J12Wygzr7MJwrEBEzkxrKJrQWKSC12zmU-lJa4/s1600/P1160376.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy2JSjjj5Im9dqLz6gc96sc8q-7Fy-LeF73lgMR-A9k_gA3g40NsYf0s5PL7kumoO1AWr0pUUL-TfdcZmulgki4mNPt8NLfsNhcTW_8J12Wygzr7MJwrEBEzkxrKJrQWKSC12zmU-lJa4/s320/P1160376.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjef8j06EwUnF7ANyG9S7w-aiQt2Oih8T5HrQYJtm-iZkSm5qnc4fIiRyTATRWxEvcqPi2F36aulGKlELP4kDYD4oKRpT4HAhO6NhsKGrjZlu2o_mRRSHZNPgkIAzIOrf8potQq8HKHIVc/s1600/02+new+form.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjef8j06EwUnF7ANyG9S7w-aiQt2Oih8T5HrQYJtm-iZkSm5qnc4fIiRyTATRWxEvcqPi2F36aulGKlELP4kDYD4oKRpT4HAhO6NhsKGrjZlu2o_mRRSHZNPgkIAzIOrf8potQq8HKHIVc/s320/02+new+form.jpg" width="215" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3xWC9GtbRiCk4JcAlDNcK7G-tzHZOIDg_UMW57ahiXcMIhmAZD7tdOaGjA8m98DXWtvRIw5EheTGXCiKwp7gV3f33VGmYCOTU6iFHMp8iSC3pMk8OICLAtOTUkIplMTeMipUst3NyL0c/s1600/02+psalm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3xWC9GtbRiCk4JcAlDNcK7G-tzHZOIDg_UMW57ahiXcMIhmAZD7tdOaGjA8m98DXWtvRIw5EheTGXCiKwp7gV3f33VGmYCOTU6iFHMp8iSC3pMk8OICLAtOTUkIplMTeMipUst3NyL0c/s320/02+psalm.jpg" width="238" /></a></div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-20119304806544700392013-03-29T20:07:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:35.001-07:00various older sketchbook images<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Where I come from</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSpL9Trwg-0yIY7fur5LrHM2bnJQdT2JLmwB0-19K853h_SFcqNWDlZ0udfoeHR-esCu4LJ2UwUUKv4dpggIuVYyaxSCFLqzeizXqeHowZXiGEslxq9EMj5AwzOInXJCa2HyUtCv4HKxo/s1600/DSCF3397.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSpL9Trwg-0yIY7fur5LrHM2bnJQdT2JLmwB0-19K853h_SFcqNWDlZ0udfoeHR-esCu4LJ2UwUUKv4dpggIuVYyaxSCFLqzeizXqeHowZXiGEslxq9EMj5AwzOInXJCa2HyUtCv4HKxo/s320/DSCF3397.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Where I've been</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh4XQ3o4pcBk0goqQIobC7RKIeNOrY9eUqbQ539xlXKUuRumgEpAlTbLLR3pVJfrHpiTLDOz2Rf6dLrgPvNEaWFKK-9IWcVYebPT3ieHcpuEKCYPgYN61o908NCqRBUKHoZTYGEbvP58w/s1600/DSCF3399.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh4XQ3o4pcBk0goqQIobC7RKIeNOrY9eUqbQ539xlXKUuRumgEpAlTbLLR3pVJfrHpiTLDOz2Rf6dLrgPvNEaWFKK-9IWcVYebPT3ieHcpuEKCYPgYN61o908NCqRBUKHoZTYGEbvP58w/s320/DSCF3399.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">What it was like</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3aIXplDPVDDqGhJ14KyUN-BlvqfKnRrbRFCanU7J-09QfM8DWOVvdvy05skDxdtpdDG9ZLW2aya1mwTggRjGrKRKJd6phO6v0l3BlrW4laqjcJyDlMMEtTRkR9eClAYu_ovXH7e4LL40/s1600/DSCF3398.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3aIXplDPVDDqGhJ14KyUN-BlvqfKnRrbRFCanU7J-09QfM8DWOVvdvy05skDxdtpdDG9ZLW2aya1mwTggRjGrKRKJd6phO6v0l3BlrW4laqjcJyDlMMEtTRkR9eClAYu_ovXH7e4LL40/s320/DSCF3398.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">to be me at that time</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-HdSVN81xRXHvlh-WnfrK5v3PPSH1DEJPcnQmkk4eTNKoSlOxhuQY59hDggzDyhgnoxRhhMW2W__OEFJMqT_IuF0L5Fz4Ahqj1es0CNrN3rW4vZ5BHyxOeGxZGDfaNq8Xbs5d41JgEfs/s1600/DSCF3401.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-HdSVN81xRXHvlh-WnfrK5v3PPSH1DEJPcnQmkk4eTNKoSlOxhuQY59hDggzDyhgnoxRhhMW2W__OEFJMqT_IuF0L5Fz4Ahqj1es0CNrN3rW4vZ5BHyxOeGxZGDfaNq8Xbs5d41JgEfs/s320/DSCF3401.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">where I might have traveled</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhCQfLplKsG0X2hpEaZT77Fxq0mmRt0xcKJUl_MlA8hl1yUuUwVWlAD09OEKbPktmge-v_Jg5_Reyw4rwp0m79AlkCqSl8t59-hcaZlsekJ1oeY0IkQcVRjMrPOBEuw4ZXqeLxms2CB04/s1600/DSCF3483.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhCQfLplKsG0X2hpEaZT77Fxq0mmRt0xcKJUl_MlA8hl1yUuUwVWlAD09OEKbPktmge-v_Jg5_Reyw4rwp0m79AlkCqSl8t59-hcaZlsekJ1oeY0IkQcVRjMrPOBEuw4ZXqeLxms2CB04/s320/DSCF3483.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">and where I might go </div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-44588660729376853112013-03-29T08:20:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:35.107-07:00good friday sequence<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD8p78uCEDCKbw8MW3Ro0XdtCIgnAF2MPAzxGYdcm5B0_hmbypJYOw8f9sFmpRE8ywBltmxE9DOjGlStsgOlcDZbKu0pIEVCiSlZ1YRCYehPY6YXaf3EqMQXbYTNix-EMMVs1OG_YCilQ/s1600/P1190538.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD8p78uCEDCKbw8MW3Ro0XdtCIgnAF2MPAzxGYdcm5B0_hmbypJYOw8f9sFmpRE8ywBltmxE9DOjGlStsgOlcDZbKu0pIEVCiSlZ1YRCYehPY6YXaf3EqMQXbYTNix-EMMVs1OG_YCilQ/s320/P1190538.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj1hN-DkoB9ILT2skVcobQj7iIucrEXBtzakFdigwvBFoTeQTOTV2OP0yCNCOczJEkjruyVk2ZV_9NdrBeiffOjjbDfQaGyJ8RYxsi0R5YtFEtsql1fMF8izjlq6P6eqUB2IR8xBE2HzE/s1600/P1190549.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj1hN-DkoB9ILT2skVcobQj7iIucrEXBtzakFdigwvBFoTeQTOTV2OP0yCNCOczJEkjruyVk2ZV_9NdrBeiffOjjbDfQaGyJ8RYxsi0R5YtFEtsql1fMF8izjlq6P6eqUB2IR8xBE2HzE/s320/P1190549.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiamoZ2LCzY4tfbt6Qqh4BVzHN6rHiReAAFBfZ1nr7SNO9mhPHUdYY3Qmt55STTrdImFIr4cLusVxbK2lhuT79bVUa-pq03v-4EJ6X2i1-1u8iWW-vbM4KIAPqhQK_uTImxuktuE-Aoaxc/s1600/P1190556.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiamoZ2LCzY4tfbt6Qqh4BVzHN6rHiReAAFBfZ1nr7SNO9mhPHUdYY3Qmt55STTrdImFIr4cLusVxbK2lhuT79bVUa-pq03v-4EJ6X2i1-1u8iWW-vbM4KIAPqhQK_uTImxuktuE-Aoaxc/s320/P1190556.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzohSQJdWoZvW4aezWJ5GsRlWXe8BF3GrA9wuukRbEgmQBzmoXT3qxR4usZ1pg_u0Pn17WphL-hsuRgBJtwj6d3LY_9NtRDxMP1FpS3YXWEjRALNJzQfibSCppEQqI1cx8VwxBm5YH8LI/s1600/P1190558.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzohSQJdWoZvW4aezWJ5GsRlWXe8BF3GrA9wuukRbEgmQBzmoXT3qxR4usZ1pg_u0Pn17WphL-hsuRgBJtwj6d3LY_9NtRDxMP1FpS3YXWEjRALNJzQfibSCppEQqI1cx8VwxBm5YH8LI/s320/P1190558.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipI0SzfBPv-lNyFN6W0FYYXr3p_5JqKOZC8EVQyEYlnHkQF8R1b9Xlzuudat0984vopaz_9K7mOQMgKhib5-mPEFj9QSLgPOoR7ZmXydk0oSzqmoJ9xoPNeeZiL5bNcE7lGjiw8SZYYSM/s1600/P1190559.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipI0SzfBPv-lNyFN6W0FYYXr3p_5JqKOZC8EVQyEYlnHkQF8R1b9Xlzuudat0984vopaz_9K7mOQMgKhib5-mPEFj9QSLgPOoR7ZmXydk0oSzqmoJ9xoPNeeZiL5bNcE7lGjiw8SZYYSM/s320/P1190559.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-22712491561858789902013-03-29T07:20:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:35.212-07:00pure randomness is tough to find<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I find myself repeating the same ideas, the same conflicts. And life is like that: repetition. Kierkegaard uses that term to describe the life of faith. He asks if repetition is possible? Not meaning, can I do the same thing - but can I experience the vacancy of each moment - or that each moment is filled with the same Me. Our subjectivity is all we have - and we hardly begin to understand it in our lives. This is what Merleu Ponty means when he says that he cannot know another's grief, nor can his grief be known - it can only be displayed. Only loving links our subjectivities together. As incomplete as it is: Lacan doubting that such a relationship can even exist: it is all we have that is productive. Jung states bluntly that loves builds and hatred destroys. He is supremely aware of how our ideas of others are glazed with our own projections - such that we may not be certain that we're being heard or that we're even hearing. Special care must be taken. Some of us seem so authoritative, so confident, that we assume that they're all right; others seem so negligible, so quiet that we don't even think of them - let alone hear. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The gist of Kaja Silverman's argument seems to be that we must take care to open up the subjectivity in ourselves. She uses the Orpheus myth and focuses on the addendum Ovid supplies: that after Orpheus' death he and Eurydice see each other as if for the first time - trading places in play of the turning at the cave that proved so fatal for her. Silverman seems to be carrying forward Klein's idea that the object must die before we can use it. Yet we don't even consider that the objects inside that maintain our attention, that seem to sustain our individuality, are counters, mere vapors whose time is gone. They hold us in thrall. But when we die to them, we emerge, like Orpheus, and are able to engage with our beloved, with each other. I think I could put this as discovering the fact that I can extend love to you without losing my self. That my self can die and doesn't disappear. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">When I first read St Paul's exclamation that he was crucified to the world - the old world was now dead to him and that Christ had flowered a new world in him - that all things were renewed. He seems to be articulating that. There was a time Paul was held in thrall to his objects, sustained by law and duty and tradition; Christ initially threatened these objects - but at the moment of crisis, these objects that had held such a hold on him, that had overcoded his life with inscriptions of what to do, these objects were themselves crucified - they were shown for what they were. In this crisis Paul discovered that he still existed, but that now his existence was as a new man - now those antinomies that defined his world (male and female; slave and free; Jew and Greek) no longer held force. They could no longer sustain him. He now existed without law - what law could now fit and define the man he had been remade as? As in the garden he discovered that the law left him naked and, instead of shame, clothed in grace.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjROAgo4rUpRAYXphdGsoWc6gpHksPsOdCFgyWOgc54RABDC5q4jEPVztxzxtDsYDkowECmxIA_5i_o2arozRELW59w7gFSdFgwUv8qLT2tJRXVSiGsjuuzk-Q8OH3I13gCU0j6gcNJxsU/s1600/stripes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjROAgo4rUpRAYXphdGsoWc6gpHksPsOdCFgyWOgc54RABDC5q4jEPVztxzxtDsYDkowECmxIA_5i_o2arozRELW59w7gFSdFgwUv8qLT2tJRXVSiGsjuuzk-Q8OH3I13gCU0j6gcNJxsU/s320/stripes.jpg" width="296" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL8UDY_xdgTWctYP0YdS-tqJbnoe-_MIjOM6SXK92bu-D-qUIaIL9UHuAiMuuI68cp5viP9r67S29qO9FIM2ruVevr6pMK-Cax0c8y1u0dY4fMWztBnusncva6CuWoY5_k_vaeL6TG-rA/s1600/chalk+board+fun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL8UDY_xdgTWctYP0YdS-tqJbnoe-_MIjOM6SXK92bu-D-qUIaIL9UHuAiMuuI68cp5viP9r67S29qO9FIM2ruVevr6pMK-Cax0c8y1u0dY4fMWztBnusncva6CuWoY5_k_vaeL6TG-rA/s320/chalk+board+fun.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-54774438962897905112013-03-28T22:57:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:35.317-07:00sympathy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwerypmXaXr2RjB_33vKhnpBYwdvvlRWJ7qd9ypxqqgutmXmFxNMambFZTpzLHvMxRuF8l77gRUTSC09BQIiRRqt_Xavb4AjinGsoNKVT49RiTqMH-lg4RQJo-o2Sy7CV-mX97xkmeM74/s1600/globe1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwerypmXaXr2RjB_33vKhnpBYwdvvlRWJ7qd9ypxqqgutmXmFxNMambFZTpzLHvMxRuF8l77gRUTSC09BQIiRRqt_Xavb4AjinGsoNKVT49RiTqMH-lg4RQJo-o2Sy7CV-mX97xkmeM74/s320/globe1.jpg" width="259" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD581yx2MsTds0y1Ho0nXwnS-zscbD4a9CHvbefBURKN9Wbs9mGbnXvAlTxUuGam9xmKN5Qc8B2ra8GpnzOyIRIsTzgKbCpLQeE8m1isndD8B_m2R6ggZfAmGB3TImg8eVcnzOdcd4GQM/s1600/zeus+beach+pose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD581yx2MsTds0y1Ho0nXwnS-zscbD4a9CHvbefBURKN9Wbs9mGbnXvAlTxUuGam9xmKN5Qc8B2ra8GpnzOyIRIsTzgKbCpLQeE8m1isndD8B_m2R6ggZfAmGB3TImg8eVcnzOdcd4GQM/s320/zeus+beach+pose.jpg" width="169" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHzNUkXvpeRzltLcQWkuaPknZnccjUnlA7WIuIEr7_C3NDx0tnSSYG14VsfoK09Wp1Je8Eci5uAT2_nsH8u0wMiQmqYAeb6FnNd1h8YGcAfanUqHJdRsfgjG1ZJO_F9EVGA7MrbWqNI0Y/s1600/P1010651.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHzNUkXvpeRzltLcQWkuaPknZnccjUnlA7WIuIEr7_C3NDx0tnSSYG14VsfoK09Wp1Je8Eci5uAT2_nsH8u0wMiQmqYAeb6FnNd1h8YGcAfanUqHJdRsfgjG1ZJO_F9EVGA7MrbWqNI0Y/s320/P1010651.JPG" width="308" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I'm trying to let go. I think back on a child gathering Easter eggs among the tiger lilies watched over by his mom and grand father. What happened to him to fill him with anger and frustration? How is it he was kept in from recess or harassed on the bus? Was there a point on some hot Georgia summer day that turned him inside himself? But if he could travel back in time to that point, offer some word of encouragement for the frustration, staved off the cruelty of adults and kids, what would that do? Is a mixture of melancholy and curiosity hardwired into our DNA, such that our lives play out as fate? I would like to say no. No to fate. No to some inherent outcome of life. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The teacher who wanted to break me of drawing - sure she's misguided. She wants to get her lesson plan done and these kids out and moving up. She's not trained (or not trained well enough) to deal with outliers. And the bad teachers - those teachers who eclipse the good ones in their influence - certainly they are survived. They usually don't harm so much as cause an inconvenience along the way.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I am ticked off at their memory though. Not seemly in a grown man. I admire people who just brush these encounters off: especially when people have enough of a sense of their agency to say, "get lost." There was a posting lately, I think a quote attributed to Wm Gibson: if you're down, depressed, etc consider that it's not you but that you're surrounded by assholes. Genius. I read that and laughed. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I can't and you can't go back and right wrongs. Like George Costanza our lives are best served by not flying out to deliver the perfect retort. You zing me, you zing me; you hate me, well and good. Don't waste time on making something happen that isn't going to. I did that for a few years at a little church in Athens. I can say that I learned what wasting my time looks like. Whenever I find myself dissatisfied and feeling down, I now have the capacity to consider that it's not me. What a thing! It's not me. Pardon me while I move on - you people carry on with whatever this is.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">As a kid we pick up all the bits of shit that falls on us and we carry it with us. Maybe we think it is such a part of us as to be necessary for life itself. Certain kinds of theology (altar calls, original sin, total depravity) enforce the identity of yourself with the bag of dung accrued to us as ourselves. But it's not true. We are trained to believe it is. We're called good boys and girls when we embrace how unworthy we are. We are habituated to conform. And it is jarring: I remember how elated I was upon reading Paul's letter to the Galatians - Freed from the law - A new creation - only to be told by my mom that it was a difficult letter and easily misunderstood. Jeeees! I understood it perfectly. It's a very short little letter after all and tells you not to waste time with the Law; that time spent with the Law would be better spent castrating yourself! It says a lot about freedom and nothing about feeling bad about yourself or going forward in tears for your wayward life. Oh, I've hit a bit of a screed. I'm sure I've said it all before. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">What I want to say is that the rest of my life is free. I may need to remind myself of this a few times more. I hope at some point, when I think of the actors for bad in my youth, that, instead of anger welling up, I laugh. Christ's admonition to "let the dead bury their dead" is instructive here. They are dead (some are and some are merely figuratively dead) - certainly not part of my life now - and would not be invited in again for even a chat. I think when Paul speaks of being crucified to the world and the old life in Galatians, that he's talking about how dead that past is. We cannot over emphasize how dead the past is.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">There are nurturing things in the past as well. Perhaps I should consider how to hold onto the good, even while excising the bad. I don't know. Perhaps even the good takes on a stale aspect. It becomes mummified in nostalgia, glossed over as a golden age -and we all know a "golden age" is an early sign of senility: "last night I dreamed of Mandalay." Gone with the Wind - I say, "good riddance with the wind." </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Whenever I hear someone extolling the virtues of the past (whether my grandmother or someone even younger than me) as a golden age where "we never locked our doors and people knew each other" , my eyes roll. I've heard this trope used to describe rural Georgia as well as Brooklyn - Brooklyn! I'm speechless. I no longer believe people when they start talking like this. When they tell me this, I wonder if some hardening of the brain cells hasn't begun. Even Ecclesiastes says that when people say former times were better than these, such speech is not from knowledge. Even in 300 BCE this trope was tired. So Qoholet, Paul and Jesus, to name three, have nothing positive to say about the past - in fact they seem to endorse getting over it: good and bad. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I once read Walker Percy's Movie Goer, Lancelot and Last Gentleman - and I was lost in a reverie for the old South. I tried to see myself as the scion of Southern yeomanry. Like Dylan's Blind Willie McTell, I see them big plantations burning - and power and greed and corruptible seed, seem to be all that there is. And someone like me, who loved history in school - who's aptitude for names and dates (taking them in and spewing them out) is so grand - who cries at tragedy and delights in narrow escapes - is prone to the dis-ease of nostalgia. I walk in subdivisions where my great grandfather's farm was and imagine the furrows, the corn, and following my grandfather's foot prints in the crust of the soil. I know what it means when the past isn't even past - the thrill of it - as if some spirit infested the ground I stood in, and the brush of Gen Oglethorpe's Scotsmen might be felt as I stood in the tabby fort left standing. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The land has a lot more stories to tell than the one's written down. If you stand on a tell in Palestine, the story would be very different than the one written down. And when you stand on Peachtree, do you feel the story of the Creek village that was there as the cars whiz by? Maybe one thing Joyce was saying with Finnegan'sWake is that our stories become garbled - that the land and the rivers change the stories such that words and syllable slip away from meaning and leave a floor of scattered husks - husks that used to contain the nut of understanding between peoples, between you and me - but, after we're gone, bear testimony not to our meaning but only our mere presence.That we've eaten the fruit out and left behind memories fit only to be swept away.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Well that's us. We humans. 25000 years ago someone carved a deer on an antler - and that's all we have. 10000 years ago, someone painted a cavalcade of animals - and that's all we have. We don't know what to make of it. When people look at a painting only 200 years old, they still don't know what to make of it - there's the convenience of books that'll tell them - but the punch in the gut meaning it had that made it important then is lost to us now. A 12 year old circa 1500 knows more about Giotto then than a PhD in art history knows today. The 12 year old didn't need to know why this was important. Maybe that seems hyperbolic - but I don't think it's far off.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Like Pound said, "Quick eyes under earth's lid." </div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4279487189852353299.post-62686526081986431272013-03-28T15:25:00.000-07:002013-04-03T20:56:35.424-07:00on bad teachers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSYap-rscl5N2T7f4o5lJhsafi_CwPPD2EDwP2guB-e_eSLvdKEdPsJdwd_xBbwKKirij9DPeg0MeubqshXy7Y7RYe0hcVNMpgjNMGbRHEuVuAtpW7C5pROwQ8uH_ZQXeFsBKyued2Kbk/s1600/02+end+page.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSYap-rscl5N2T7f4o5lJhsafi_CwPPD2EDwP2guB-e_eSLvdKEdPsJdwd_xBbwKKirij9DPeg0MeubqshXy7Y7RYe0hcVNMpgjNMGbRHEuVuAtpW7C5pROwQ8uH_ZQXeFsBKyued2Kbk/s320/02+end+page.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuv-KQJQzx43i3eS4bqjkQlzD1kE-3QREhc_ByDE86RbXHUJGHjP6F-V-cLK2Lh2Eodk2znSyHIdX9h7TGz1obsgSVRMYjBoIOy_VaEqi8R3fU4jv0HZ2yOYvEqyfc2RTBMlfiLJzUh94/s1600/me+walking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuv-KQJQzx43i3eS4bqjkQlzD1kE-3QREhc_ByDE86RbXHUJGHjP6F-V-cLK2Lh2Eodk2znSyHIdX9h7TGz1obsgSVRMYjBoIOy_VaEqi8R3fU4jv0HZ2yOYvEqyfc2RTBMlfiLJzUh94/s320/me+walking.jpg" width="188" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1PffiN7Ox_vP2GynnCDe8PfplPm0Xfvd8-nVTOnyPUqDpZXJgyPe3a_z2BX4dj5EUV-vemxv7ZsVYUf4YBuYeJKcDnLjfiyyoGRD16MOBBR_auUfqbIfXRa0TNBHMVg-voHUKgElum8E/s1600/02+gold+stars1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1PffiN7Ox_vP2GynnCDe8PfplPm0Xfvd8-nVTOnyPUqDpZXJgyPe3a_z2BX4dj5EUV-vemxv7ZsVYUf4YBuYeJKcDnLjfiyyoGRD16MOBBR_auUfqbIfXRa0TNBHMVg-voHUKgElum8E/s320/02+gold+stars1.jpg" width="232" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifrjCsYoRaa8It7QhvQ5Np6YFWCDRVzE7ZPk0uTHbr-AxzBHGO1WYdtdCNpiJQoIDq12yrPCM8AqMfvLIQYTWnXVbFVmLJebeVAluqvKBROyssBKiKuyvk45-9G-elVbXOlN42vdwD05w/s1600/02+preaching1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifrjCsYoRaa8It7QhvQ5Np6YFWCDRVzE7ZPk0uTHbr-AxzBHGO1WYdtdCNpiJQoIDq12yrPCM8AqMfvLIQYTWnXVbFVmLJebeVAluqvKBROyssBKiKuyvk45-9G-elVbXOlN42vdwD05w/s320/02+preaching1.jpg" width="203" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnHkZrztJ2XXFF59kdRP7Oj-7wZp7JKrv8tQQFvR3Sz0o4rHyDikqbKusFkXIOlmSXYZmHtT6iuaxo_1lLmBkA6DPwverfMdhnsKK1SO-SgCpiCJiOrhMNmwOj9gpm7eNVS7V43zJMHG8/s1600/02+praying+ft.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnHkZrztJ2XXFF59kdRP7Oj-7wZp7JKrv8tQQFvR3Sz0o4rHyDikqbKusFkXIOlmSXYZmHtT6iuaxo_1lLmBkA6DPwverfMdhnsKK1SO-SgCpiCJiOrhMNmwOj9gpm7eNVS7V43zJMHG8/s320/02+praying+ft.jpg" width="220" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaF2367wugZtoZo5grbVqBSK-4SDGkkUgrV8Dk2YUpVqFXFBA2IkXz69AJPYKeajLdn9AUmhRnw4NUwMuOxwV-p7ddjpo1h3HWtmqf_INd-rF4JLfYzx28vQ22mY0j7t14fUaCzUfqY60/s1600/02+promethiusx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaF2367wugZtoZo5grbVqBSK-4SDGkkUgrV8Dk2YUpVqFXFBA2IkXz69AJPYKeajLdn9AUmhRnw4NUwMuOxwV-p7ddjpo1h3HWtmqf_INd-rF4JLfYzx28vQ22mY0j7t14fUaCzUfqY60/s320/02+promethiusx.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Good teachers are emblems we strive to be. When I read a paean to someone's Good Teacher I am reminded how much influence bad teachers have. I am not talking about mediocre teachers - they do a good job, but students aren't standing on their desks chanting Captain my Captain. I'm talking about the teacher who is motivated by sadism. I've had a couple and they still irk me. I find myself asking myself why I still care. Perhaps it is I recognize how unnecessary it was that I was inflicted with them. One, a minister, I consider to have inflicted myself with. But the other, a band director, I feel someone could have done something about. What do you say about someone who runs out onto the practice field, grabs a students music, throws it to the ground, and sneers, "Mr [your name], You've dropped your music!" Or who barrels up into the ensemble, knocking over stands, to get in the face of someone. In the education courses I took, I've not found an endorsement of this method in any education philosophy. If you laughed at those two examples, I suggest to you that your own idea of education needs examination. I can only see how such methods do damage. Performance practice and musicianship can be taught in supportive and edifying ways. It is not a sign of weakness when a teacher maintains a calm demeanor and exhibits patience with students.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The minister I am responsible for. I had many opportunities to leave off (and eventually I did - I only wish I'd cut off from him sooner) and stayed too long. In the end his insults and passive aggressive behavior lost their effect. I began to understand that my own Christianity didn't need his approval. Describing some of his speech, the way he would speak to me, to my therapist some time ago, my therapist said, "perhaps if you'd asked him, at that time, how what he just said squared with his understanding of the gospel." And that was a real learning for me. Still, this minister took a pride in how much he didn't exemplify the gospel. Almost as if the orthodoxy of the theology he espoused exonerated him from scrutiny. I've seen a few others exhibit this behavior. They abuse and run roughshod over parishoners. They refer to people of other churches and faiths as fools, idiots or misguided.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">What allows them to stay wielding the influence they do? The band director had some success - look at the excellent ratings and awards. The minister was surrounded by people who he didn't directly attack. It makes no sense to me how, even when the sadism or passive aggressiveness of such people is known, how much their behavior is laughed off. How people who leave are thought of as too sensitive or quitters or somehow not worthy. The ardent defense of bad teachers by good people who could help befuddles me. Perhaps they are cowed. Perhaps they too hope for some acknowledgement that they get the "drive to excellence" or "the integrity of orthodox defense of the gospel." Usually there is an ideal students and parishoners are being sacrificed for. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I believe that teachers live out their subject. Not their words alone but their manner of life. They don't talk about the gospel of love - they live it. They don't talk muscianship, they live it. If the life is not there, all their talk is smokescreen for the life they live. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I believe that as courage is the perfection of each virtue; so kindness is the perfection of each art. I seek kindness in my teachers. I seek kindness in myself. If, when I teach, I have not been kind, then I have not taught. I can think of times, when I was teaching, that in frustration, I have lashed out at my students. I know I've been unkind. I've indulged the privilege of orthodoxy or excellence or some ideal to demonstrate a student's short coming. Hence I am careful when I teach even a humble Sunday School class now. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Does it seem the soul is being squeezed out of education today? I hope somehow it might be squeezed back in. But it is difficult: the soul doesn't show up on criterion reference tests. What rubric might be written for someone's soul. Does such a thing not exist? Perhaps if we spoke, as Lacan, of the gap in the subject. Could we even posit that? That no amount of positivism can eradicate unverifiability of what is a person's deep truth? </div><br />alexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10267810901382034864noreply@blogger.com0